It happened again. But this time it happened at the donut shop.
They tell me that it’s just a stage but after today, I feel like this is just reality.
The kids had just finished up the most enticing donuts holes from our favorite donut shop, Bosa. I was proud of myself for turning away my usual glazed twist. I usually just can’t turn one down, but today I did. My four-year-old walked over to the fridge of drinks they have in the lobby and he said he wanted to get a drink. My answer was of course, “no honey, we’re getting ready to leave. We’ll get a drink at home.”
Tears and Tantrums
Cue waterworks. My poor, poor deprived child was so upset that his mom wouldn’t let him get a drink. He was so thirsty from all the glazed donut holes that he was sure he needed a bottle of apple juice to quench his thirst.
So I went through the whole routine:
“I’m sorry, I can’t understand you when you talk like that.”
“You may not speak to me that way.”
“I gave you my answer. What did I say?”
“That’s right I said no.”
He continued to spiral down into his pit of despair that I so often find myself trying to pull him out of.
Finally, on our way out the door, I said,
“You have two choices. You can be happy that I took you for donuts this morning or you can choose to have a bad attitude because I wouldn’t let you have a drink. It’s your choice.”
We use this method with him quite often. We speak calmly and tell him that the choice is his and that mom and dad can’t choose to have a good day for him and you know what? It works.
But, there’s more to this story. As I placed my hand on the handle to open the car door, I felt the Holy Spirit speak to me about my own attitude. Recently, in my business, I feel like I’ve had a lull. It’s been a very quiet time which is so wonderful after such a crazy fall. But even though I’ve enjoyed the quiet, I still can’t help but feel a little restless. I see everyone around me booking sessions left and right and I can’t help but think, I need more.
So, when I placed my hand on that door handle, God brought my attention to my own attitude and he said, “you can choose to be thankful for what you have or choose to have a bad attitude because I’m not giving you more. Remember, I’m the one who brought you here in the first place.”
Most of the time I haven’t even had a bad attitude about it, it’s just been a “what they heck am I doing wrong? This isn’t going the way I had planned.” But God still used the situation to remind me that I can’t look at all the negatives. I can’t look at a situation and see a failure like I’m so guilty of doing. God wants me to be happy and thankful for what he has already given me. He wants me to “be confident that he who began a good work will be faithful to complete it.” (Phil 1:6)
Choose to be Happy
After this morning, I’m not sure this wanting more is just a phase for four-year-olds. I think it’s something that you have to battle at every stage in life, it just manifests in different things. At four, it’s over apple juice. At 30, it’s over business matters or decorating your house. Or wanting a different car or more money.
And at every stage, we have to give ourselves the choice: Are you going to be happy that you got to eat donuts? Or sad that you didn’t get the apple juice?
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